Trust, is it you or is it them?

Ok, it is nearly Christmas, we are nearing the end of this cycle of the Mayan calendar - who has not heard about it.

Are you afraid? 

Or, do you trust all will be well?

 

And what do you base your trust on?

Interesting thought, actually - what do you base your trust on? 

I had this discussion with a co-worker - he stated that this or that person had not "earned his trust", yet. That he needed to see enough reliable examples, enough respected commitments, before he could give his trust.

That really struck a cord in me - as to me, trust is not so much about the other person than about me. To my colleague, it seemes, that a person needs to show his or her trustworthyness, when to me it is more about my own capacity to trust, more my feeling towards the person.

Yet - how to convince my colleague? And, maybe he was right? I had trusted a friend and got burned. So, had I not checked enough on that person before "giving my trust"?

 

Today I was lucky! I came across a passage in a book, that put this feeling about trust depending mostly on myself, into words. Here it goes:

 

"...people seem to trust when they believe to hold some kind of a guarantee. Yet the real trust lies in certainty. And the difference is: a guarantee is external. Someone gives you a guarantee, that something happens, or does not happen. Yet, this is not really trust, that simply is an agreement, that might come to pass or not – and I cannot even completely rely on that.“
...
„Certainty is something that grows inside of you and which reflects your inner conviction. It is completely independent from any outside agreement. A guarantee is an illusion. Certainty is the basis of trust.“ (Hubert Kölsch - God answers always, a story about trust)

 

Anyway, this really nails for me, this question of trust: 

my colleague seems to live by the concept of trust as a guarantee - I need enough reliable behaviour from a person before I give my trust. 

Whereas my gut feeling - here put into words - was: I listen inside myself for the certainty, that this person is trustworthy to me.

So what about this story with my friend, when I "got burned". Well, to be honest, I had this, .. weird feeling. I did what I believed was right, with the best intentions - yet the friend turned against me. And if I had been true to myself back then, I could have seen it coming. At the time, I got angry with my friend, who was so "unjust". Yet now, looking at the situation with the glasses of certainty - I had not listened to my inner voice.

 

Back to my initial question then - the end of the Mayan calendar. Whom do you trust? The articles that paint dangerous pole shifts and the end of the world scenarios? Or the more spiritual view which believes we enter a world of greater comprehension?

Whom do you trust?

 

Ah yes, we just said: certainty inside. 

What is your certainty?


Kontakt:

Wiebke Hansen

LifeForce Coaching zertifiziert